Solid Ground in the Rush

Out of my element.
Lost and discontent.
Why is my vision so small?
Why do I feel so shallow?
I question what I’m choosing and what I’m not.
I wonder what I’ve ignored and what I’ve forgotten.

I am not the earth
With the universe circling devoutly.
Nor am I the sun
With the solar system dancing around me.

I’ve asked myself a thousand times,
Wondering why I’m so afraid to rise
From the place I want to leave but still adore.
A bump in the road shakes me like never before.
As if it’s an earthquake, I react with tuck and roll.
I seek shelter, but am I running for the Cross, or a mole hole?

I ponder what I’m chasing,
As I face a labyrinth of same and new,
And if I’m following
The Voice that rings clear and true.

Swirling, my world is swaying.
Churning, my world is changing.
Why am I blind to the stepping-stones
As the waters seem to chill my bones?
Why do I pass by the calm ford
And try to swim through the rush with a fraying cord?

I am not alone
With the world just empty space
And only hollow echoes
In reply to my heart’s voice.

I try to hold it all together.
Like a horse too afraid to tread water,
I stay on the shore where it seems safe,
Not admitting that’s not always the case.
But I don’t want to be too deaf to hear.
I don’t want to be too proud to shed a tear.

I’m weary and afraid.
Fresh tears fall silently.
I hear a Voice
Speaking to me patiently, gently.